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¿Se puede tener un novio online? - Comuna Mujer
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Home / Sexualidad / ¿Se puede tener un novio online?

¿Se puede tener un novio online?

¿Se puede tener un novio online?
Si ustedes me preguntan si es bueno o malo tener una relación online, les diría que el día que me pusiera en jueza, me avergonzaría de mí misma. Puedo sí darles mi opinión...

Es bueno tener una relación online, mientras que ésta sea satisfactoria y afecte a la persona en forma favorable. Es algo bueno cuando las consecuencias son positivas y la persona se siente realizada. Es negativa, si la persona se sintiera mal o aspirara a otra cosa y no se le diera... en fin, lo mismo que pasa en la vida diaria.

¿Debo conocer personalmente al otro para que sea mi pareja?

Muchas personas llegan a conocerse personalmente y otras no. En algunas, se produce una gran alegría cuando por fin se materializa el encuentro; otras, se “desencantan” al comprobar que era más agradable la fantasía que la realidad. Otras no se conocen jamás y sin embargo, tienen una relación por años, donde comparten cosas muy intimas: como historias de vida y muchas horas de “estar juntos” a través de la computadora. Algunas hasta tienen sexo online…

Hace poco leí esto: “Las nuevas tecnologías no producen necesariamente relaciones perjudiciales, pero tienden a convertirse en problema si son el único instrumento de relación”. No estoy de acuerdo, lo importante es cómo se sienten las personas: si se divierten, se sienten acompañadas, pasan bien, etc.

¿Entonces... por qué esto estaría mal?

No aconsejaría una relación online, cuando es usada para tapar otra cosa; como mentir sobre la edad, el estado físico, esconder la timidez o si la persona en realidad lo que desea es tener un vínculo con alguien aquí y ahora, buscando algo más que sólo la compañía de hablar o chatear online.

Si usas tu computadora para esconderte, no llegarás a tus objetivos; pero si tu objetivo es pasar un buen rato a través de la compu, entonces ¡adelante!

Las relaciones online, de ninguna manera pretenden sustituir las relaciones cara a cara; sino que son otro tipo de comunicación, también válido.

Internet permite una forma de conocer un montón de personas que quizá por tiempo, distancias o diversas circunstancias, nunca hubieras podido conocer. Allí puedes encontrar personas que tengan en común cosas contigo, como ser aficiones e intereses. Lo que sí aconsejo, es sinceridad al momento de llenar un formulario con ciertos datos o hablar de lo te que gusta a TI y no decir lo que crees que le gustaría al otro.

No necesitas ir a un bar para conocer a alguien: solo debes conectarte…

Las citas a ciegas básicamente han desaparecido, ya que ahora cuando se pretende presentar una persona a otra, en general se dan los siguientes pasos.

1. Se busca información de la persona en Internet.
2. La presentadora/o le manda una foto, para que ya lo/la vaya viendo.
3. Le agrega información, años, estado civil, etc.

¿Bueno o malo? No lo sé... depende de cada caso.

¿Se acuerdan cuando no existía la mampara en el taxi y uno se encontraba hablando con un desconocido, cosas que de repente no le contaba ni a un amigo? Se decía que el taxista era como el psicólogo, ya que al ser un extraño y las probabilidades de volverlo a encontrar eran bajas, se aprovechaban para "sacar todo para afuera" (catarsis) y ser escuchados un rato. Lo mismo pasa con la comunicación online: al no estar cara a cara, nos da más libertad para abrirnos y compartir experiencias de vida, o para expresar sentimientos.

Recuerdo estar en Buenos Aires, hace ya muchos años... un taxista (sin saber que yo era psicóloga), sacó de su billetera la foto de su hijo y me preguntó si le tenía que contar que era adoptado o no… no sé en qué habrá quedado esa historia; sé que el señor necesitaba hablar y tal vez escuchar muchas opiniones, para luego escuchar su voz interior. Lo mejor hubiera sido que pudiera acceder a una terapia, trabajar eso en el consultorio, pero no siempre es posible: la vida es como es…

¿Una desventaja de estar siempre "conectados"? Comunicarse solamente vía online, dejar otras actividades para estar en la computadora. En suma: cuando la conexión a través de esta máquina, se vuelve una adicción.

Hay ventajas en la comunicación online, como las hay en la vida diaria. Si la persona tiene una vida social rica y estable, la comunicación online lo que hace es enriquecer más su vida personal. La comunicación online sin lugar a dudas, le resultará sumamente útil para desarrollarse tanto a nivel personal, como para aumentar su vida social.

A modo de ejemplo, a través de redes sociales que se encuentran en Internet, puede agrandar su grupo de amistades, puede sociabilizar con distintas personas de diferente sexo, culturas, idiomas, países y creencias... puede conversar, aprender, y compartir conocimientos y divertirse.


Viviana Vaisenberg
Terapeuta Cognitiva Comportamental
Consultorio: 2.710.25.01
Página web: www.terapiaonline.com.uy

Comentarios (2)

Agregar un comentario

Comuna Mujer 28-05-2012

Gracias a ti Vera, por tu comentario. Te mandamos un beso grande y te agradecemos que nos acompañes.

Vera 26-05-2012

Es cierto, a veces es mejor online que cara a cara, gracias por quitarnos el peso de que las cosas tienen que ser solo de una deteriminada manera.

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