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Un nuevo modo de relación: conocerse a través de la Web - Comuna Mujer
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Un nuevo modo de relación: conocerse a través de la Web

Un nuevo modo de relación: conocerse a través de la Web

El amor puede comenzar de cualquier modo y conocerse por Internet, es algo muy común hoy en día para gente de todas las edades. ¿Quién no conoce alguna pareja, cuyo primer contacto fue en la red?

Un estudio realizado por la asociación Pew Internet y American Life Project revela, según datos de 2006, que el 52% de las personas que han iniciado relaciones por Internet en Estados Unidos, consideran que el balance ha sido positivo y que tres de cada cuatro solteros han buscado, en algún momento, pareja en la red.

La actriz española, Paloma Hurtado, se casó hace un tiempo con un chileno nacionalizado americano, que años antes había conocido a través de un chat. Después de largas confidencias mutuas que incrementaron el entendimiento a distancia, se vieron varias veces personalmente en sus respectivos países, hasta que decidieron compartir sus vidas. 

Cristhian, un joven empresario, al separarse de su mujer, empezó a incursionar en la red y conoció a Graciela, una mujer de 32 años, dedicada al marketing. Luego de varios encuentros y conversaciones virtuales y no virtuales, decidieron empezar un noviazgo. Al año, empezaron a vivir juntos; pero hace un tiempo, se separaron porque las diferencias los superaban.  

La Red se ha convertido en un jardín para las conquistas. La gente se conoce y llega incluso a iniciar una relación. En estas épocas en que es tan sencillo conectarse a Internet, se dan cada vez más y más romances “virtuales”: contactamos con alguien que está del otro lado de una computadora (en foros, lugares de encuentros o páginas personales), comenzamos a chatear o a intercambiar emails y, en muchísimos casos, comienza una relación amorosa. Tiene grandes ventajas porque es cómodo, económico, no hace falta salir de la casa, genera todo un ambiente de familiaridad que seguramente hace bajar la guardia. Además, muchos no se atreven a romper el hielo en un bar o un restaurante, pero sí a través de la pantalla.

Amores imposibles o por concretarse, platónicos, a distancia... imaginar a alguien sin cara, sin cuerpo y sin voz, de la manera en que lo soñamos… todo esto parece ser irresistible a la hora de emocionarnos por alguien que hemos conocido por Internet. Las experiencias recogidas, demuestran que una abrumadora mayoría de las relaciones no permanecen eternamente online. Los amantes tienden a reunirse. Los tiempos varían, pero más tarde o más temprano, se organizan encuentros cara a cara, a partir de los cuales se define la continuidad o no de la relación. Aunque también es cierto que, muchas veces, la relacion se termina desgastando cuando diferentes razones (por ejemplo, vivir en diferentes países, cuestiones laborales y/o económicas), imposibilitan ese encuentro.

Un dato curioso, es que en los encuentros cibernéticos (y a diferencia de lo que pasa en la vida real), la apariencia física y los factores relacionados con ella, que expresan la pertenencia a una clase o grupo social, preferencias y cultura, no se toman en cuenta en un primer momento, en la elección del objeto amoroso. Sí se considera importante la capacidad de comunicación. Y cuando uno se ha pasado horas comunicándose con otra persona, de manera profunda e íntima, es inevitable que se forme una imagen física del interlocutor.

Por nuestro deseo de estar acompañados y en una pareja estable, podemos creer lo que no es o pasar por alto detalles que nos indicarían que algo no es de la manera en la que lo describen. Zygmunt Bauman, en su libro “Amor Líquido”, expresa que los hombres y las mujeres estamos “desesperados” por relacionarnos. Intentar relacionarse desde la desesperación de la soledad o de encontrar una pareja a cualquier costo, puede causar que obviemos detalles importantísimos (que de otro modo, notaríamos), o no preguntar por miedo a  una desilusión: lo esencial es cuidarnos a nosotros mismos, no vivir ensimismados en ilusiones propias que depositamos en otra persona y abocarnos a saber quién es realmente esa persona que se muestra tan amable y atractiva por la red.

Por ello, antes de un encuentro presencial, se recomienda conversar bastante tiempo con la otra persona, prestar atención a posibles contradicciones, desconfiar si la otra persona hace muchas preguntas pero no ofrece ningún dato fiable o concreto, o si nos manda fotos espectaculares.

Una conversación telefónica a veces, puede ayudar a decidir si se desea o no el encuentro. Y es, a mi entender, importante no llamar, por ejemplo, desde el teléfono de tu trabajo o de tu casa. Se puede mantener el anonimato llamando, por ejemplo, desde un locutorio.

El primer encuentro es preferible realizarlo en un sitio público, en horario temprano, a la vista de otras personas, contándole a algún amigo o familiar donde estarás y, por las dudas, tener un celular conectado y quedar con alguien para que te haga una llamada. Por supuesto que, no hay que acceder a realizar nada que no se desee y, si la compañía no es interesante, concluirla amablemente.

Pero, no siempre todo es negativo, ya que virtualmente, se han formado muchas parejas y grandes amigos. Y, si bien hay que ser valiente para entrar en este nuevo mundo virtual, ¿por qué no intentarlo, tomando ciertas precauciones?


Lic. Diana M. Resnicoff
Psicóloga Clínica. Sexóloga Clínica.
Tel: (54-11) 4831-2910
email: dresni@gmail.com

Comentarios (4)

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Rosario 22-11-2011

Hola Nybia! yo también adoro a los bichitos y me la paso ayudando a todos los que encuentro necesitados. Mi debilidad son los gatos. Colaboro con la gente de animales sin hogar e integro la red de gatos de Solymar. Si me pasás tu mail, te envío fotos.

ESTELA 18-11-2011

Cuando puedo entro a comuna, te encuentro a tí Nibia, también me encantan los animales, mis hijos mis nietas son mi vida, salgo a trabajar y regreso. El fin de semana suelo estar sola, mi hijo se va con su papá, mi hija ya tiene su vida. Pero estoy aquí te parece, cuentame de tus animales.

Comuna Mujer 15-11-2011

Hola, Nibia! Te agradecemos tu comentario y desde ya te decimos, que en Comuna Mujer tienes un espacio de expresión y que cuentas con nosotros, para que no te sientas tan sola. Debido a nuestra política de privacidad, no hacemos públicos los datos de nuestras lectoras; por lo que tu mail, no se ha publicado. Te mandamos un beso grande y te reiteramos que cuentas con nosotros.

nibia maria 15-11-2011

necesito amigas y amigos, mi vida tiene mucha soledad. Soy viuda y vivo con un hijo que esta en su trabajo todo el dia. Mi gran amor, ademas de mi familia son los animales. Si alguien quiere conectarse coonmigo bien venida/o sea.-

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