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El amor ¿existe o no existe? - Comuna Mujer
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El amor ¿existe o no existe?

El amor ¿existe o no existe?

Primitivamente las parejas se formaban en base al enamoramiento y al amor.

Más tarde, las culturas más evolucionadas, establecieron que las mismas se formaran en base a la conveniencia para unir estados, fortunas, preservar la clase, la religión, etc.

Hace solo unos siglos, el amor ha vuelto a ser, en las culturas actuales, la principal motivación para la elección de una pareja.

Cuando nos enamoramos, idealizamos al otro, le vemos cualidades ideales que se formaron en modelos como figuras familiares, amigos, artistas, deportistas, etc., que nos impresionaron alguna vez. El flechazo no es casual.

Ya dijimos que el enamoramiento es una emoción intensa que, según algunos, dura entre dieciocho meses a dos años como máximo. En la adolescencia, suele durar apenas una semana. (hay muchos adultos-adolescentes).

Cuando se está enamorado, aparece una sustancia cerebral que es la feniletilamina, que es una sustancia euforizante como una anfetamina. Por eso los enamorados no comen, no duermen, escriben canciones o versos, están felices y exaltados. Están en un estado maníaco, donde solo ven lo positivo del ser amado y no aceptan las críticas que se le hacen al ser amado porque ¡es lo máximo!

Para poder amar, se debe poner una buena capacidad de elaborar duelos o frustraciones, porque el enamorado nunca es exactamente como lo imaginamos al principio, tiene defectos; por lo tanto, o lo aceptamos tal cual es, o lo rechazamos.

Hay gente que no se conforma con la pérdida y pretende continuar el vínculo a toda costa.

El amor entonces, se construye en base a ex enamorados, hoy des-idealizados y aceptados con sus partes buenas y malas, dando así seguridad, estabilidad y tranquilad al vínculo. Esta actitud, revela que el enamoramiento ya ha pasado, pues incluso fisiológicamente, no puede soportarse durante mucho tiempo ese estado de exaltación y así se instala el amor.

Mesa de cuatro patas

El amor no es igual al enamoramiento. El amor es sereno. Y según la ciencia, en la química del amor predominan en el cerebro las endorfinas, sustancias semejantes a la morfina, que calman y serenan.

No se sabe cuanto puede durar el amor, pero depende de factores sociales, el tiempo y sobre todo, de la posesión de parte de la pareja... de un diálogo fluido que le permita procesar los cambios que el paso del tiempo impondrá en cada uno y en el mismo vinculo.

El amor se puede acabar o no. Pero es obra de dos. Con el enamoramiento solamente, no se puede aventurar una convivencia duradera, pues es engañoso y transitorio.

Amor es la más apasionante aventura humana. Pero no es la más fácil e inocente: con el amor se goza y se sufre mucho, también.


Gabriela Michoelsson (Sicóloga-Sexóloga)
gamich@multi.com.uy
094.21.28.21
www.saberdesexo.com

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Comentarios (2)

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Silvia 24-02-2010

Es posible amar a una persona, y estar enamorada de otra?

Susie Miles 12-02-2010

Muy interesante y muy cierto todo esto!!! ¿Cómo se puede evitar el sufrir tanto?

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